How to Get a Guy to Like You: 20 Genuine Ways That Actually Work

Be yourself (really)

It sounds like a cliché, but it's the foundation of everything else. If he falls for a version of you that you're performing, you'll have to keep performing. If he likes the real you, you can relax.

1. Share your actual opinions. Agreeing with everything he says might feel safe, but it makes you harder to get to know. Friendly disagreement is often more interesting than constant agreement.
2. Keep doing your own thing. Your hobbies, friendships and goals make you who you are. Don't drop them to free up time for him.
3. Let your quirks show. Your weird sense of humor, your obsession with a niche podcast, your strong feelings about breakfast foods: these are the details people remember.
4. Dress like you. Wear what makes you feel good and confident, not what you think he wants to see.

Listen, don't just talk

Feeling heard is one of the most attractive experiences there is. When you give him real attention, you're showing interest in a way words alone can't.

5. Ask open-ended questions. 'What got you into that?' or 'What was the best part?' invite stories instead of one-word answers. Our list of questions to ask a guy to get to know him has plenty to choose from.
6. Follow up on details. If he mentioned a big game or a job interview, ask how it went. Remembering small things shows you care.
7. Put your phone away. Undivided attention is rare and noticeable.
8. Be curious about his world. Even if you don't share his interests, asking him to explain what he loves about them can lead to great conversations.

Make your presence known

A guy can't like you if he barely knows you exist. Being present doesn't mean being pushy; it means giving him natural chances to see who you are.

9. Show up where he is. Group hangouts, shared classes, club meetings or mutual friends' events all create easy, low-pressure contact.
10. Be warm in group settings. Laugh at his jokes when they're funny, include him in conversations and let your personality shine around others.
11. Use friendly body language. Smile, make eye contact and face him when you talk. These small signals tell him you're approachable.
12. Create a shared reference. An inside joke, a running debate or a show you're both watching gives you a natural reason to keep talking.

Start the conversation yourself

There's no rule that says he has to make the first move. Plenty of guys are shy, unsure or worried about misreading signals. Starting a conversation takes the guesswork out for him.

13. Open with something easy. A comment about your shared surroundings or a question about something he's wearing or doing is plenty.
14. Text first sometimes. Send a funny meme related to a conversation you had, or ask how his weekend plans went. For ideas, see how to start a conversation with a guy over text.
15. Suggest doing something together. 'You mentioned that new taco place. Want to try it this week?' is direct, friendly and easy to say yes to.
16. Compliment him. Guys often hear fewer compliments than you'd think. Telling him his presentation was great or his jacket looks good can mean a lot. Our tips on how to compliment a guy can help you find the words.

Have patience

Attraction often grows gradually. Some guys know right away; others need time, especially if they're cautious, shy or getting over something.

17. Let things develop. Don't rush to define the relationship after a few conversations. Enjoy getting to know him.
18. Match his effort. If he texts back with enthusiasm and asks questions too, keep going. If you're always the one reaching out and he seems lukewarm, step back and see whether he steps forward.

Patience has limits, though. If weeks go by and he shows no interest, or he's hot and cold in a way that leaves you anxious, that's information. You deserve someone who is clearly excited about you.

Be confident in who you are

Confidence isn't about being loud or perfect. It's about feeling okay with yourself whether or not this particular guy likes you back.

19. Remember your worth. His interest is a nice bonus, not a measure of your value. People who feel secure in themselves tend to be more relaxed and fun to be around.
20. Be clear about your interest. At some point, it's okay to say, 'I really like spending time with you. Would you want to go on a date?' Directness is attractive, and it saves you both from guessing.

Signs he's starting to like you back

Every guy is different, but a few patterns often suggest growing interest:

• He starts conversations and keeps them going.
• He remembers small things you told him.
• He finds reasons to be around you or suggests plans.
• His body language is open: he faces you, leans in and makes plenty of eye contact.
• He teases you lightly or shares more personal stories over time.

None of these are guarantees on their own. For a deeper look, check out signs he likes you and our guide to men's body language.

What not to do

A few common strategies tend to backfire:

• Making him jealous on purpose. It creates drama and mistrust rather than attraction.
• Playing hard to get. Pretending you're not interested can make him think you really aren't.
• Changing your personality. It's exhausting and rarely lasts.
• Ignoring red flags. If he's unkind, disrespectful or dismissive, the goal shouldn't be to win him over.

If you're shy

Shyness doesn't stop you from connecting; it just means you might take smaller steps. Start with low-stakes moves like smiling, saying hi or asking one question. Group settings can feel easier than one-on-one, and texting can give you time to think. Many people find quiet, thoughtful types very appealing, so you don't need to become someone louder.

If anxiety holds you back in lots of areas of life, not just dating, consider talking with a licensed therapist. Building comfort in social situations is a skill, and it can be learned.

Keep your life full while you get to know him

One of the easiest traps when you have a crush is letting him become the center of your week. You check your phone constantly, reshape plans around his schedule and replay every conversation. That kind of focus is understandable, but it tends to make you anxious, and anxiety makes it harder to be your relaxed, likable self.

Keep investing in the rest of your life. See your friends, keep up your workouts or classes, and say yes to plans that have nothing to do with him. A full life gives you more to talk about, keeps your mood steady whatever he does, and reminds both of you that you're choosing to spend time together, not filling a gap. It also protects you: if things don't work out, your world is still rich and supportive.

The bottom line

Learning how to get a guy to like you isn't about tricks. It's about letting him see the real you: listening well, showing up, starting conversations, being patient and carrying yourself with quiet confidence. If he likes what he sees, wonderful. If he doesn't, you haven't lost anything, and you're one step closer to someone who's a great match. Find more advice in our dating section.